Strengthening love relationships in the EFT couple therapy. Establishing comfort and security and rediscovering love.
◊ Recognizing common patterns
◊ Learning to see the other’s perspective
◊ Developing courage in opening to each other from within
A good partnership means feeling safe and connected. Both of these feelings can get lost over time. It can begin to feel like you are stuck together in a negative spiral of reproach and attack, defense and retreat. With each twist of the spiral, energy, strength and joy disappear.
Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) can stop the negative spiral and start a new, positive cycle. It is one of the most researched and effective modern couple therapy methods. As a student of the Canadian EFT founder Sue Johnson, I belong to the growing group of EFT couple therapists in Germany. In EFT, you can experience that it is not the other that is the “bad guy”, but your common pattern is. It is possible to break it when both begin to feel their often deeply hidden and vulnerable sides, and become more courageous in showing these sides the other. To open up to each other is to meet anew. The sense of connectedness and security can grow again. Love is back in the room.
Why do I find couple therapy so helpful and ingenious? The answer comes from the philosopher Martin Buber, who said, a person only becomes a self through encountering the other. It means, our partner acts like a mirror and that allows both to grow.
Sometimes couples come to the common conclusion that their path is coming to an end. Separation can help letting go of the other without resentment, valuing the good of the time together, and giving space the sorrow of loss. A good separation helps the former partners to go their own way in a positive and powerful way. And it helps children stay connected with mother and father as supportive and strong parents.
An EFT couple session lasts 90 minutes. Especially in the beginning regular sessions (once a week or at least once every two weeks) are essential to support the process.
Couple therapy is not funded by health insurances.
“With Ulrike Schneiberg I feel completely safe. It’s so good when my partner and I deal with each other in a completely different way and really come into contact with each other. Even when figuring out new disputes, it feels good.”
“If we had known how helpful EFT would be for us, we would have come much earlier.”
“It’s really helpful to understand what’s happening between us and why. And to feel how much love there is beneath it all.”